Can you believe it? It’s already May 19th. It’s been a whole year. A whole 365 days, where each and every day you gave me another reason to love you. A whole 365 days where I’d say maybe we’ve only been separated for 15. Just a whole year, filled with so many memories I wish I could relive. Filled with uncontrollable laughter, constantly losing unhealthy amounts of sleep, much needed vent sessions, and so much more. But most importantly, we made it. A full, entire, long year. I still can’t believe it. When I look back, we’ve been through so much but it feels much less than a year. A whole year of people not accepting us, a whole year of unnecessary hate, a whole year of pointless fighting. But look where we are now? Right on top. From the very first time we said we’d never lose each other, or leave each other, I knew it would never happen. I knew we’d celebrate this day. No matter what we’ve been through, I believed in you, and I believed in us. We fought for each other, and here we are. Celebrating a full year of us. What an amazing feeling. I just love you.
It’s so easy to love you. Ask anybody, I promise you they’ll agree. There’s literally so much to love. You have the biggest heart. You care for anyone and everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. You care for the people who could care less. You care for the people who have hurt you. You care about everyone a little too much, but that’s what makes you so great. You’re not someone who says “I’ll be there”, but when someone is in need, you’re nowhere to be found. You care, so you’re there. You’re the funniest person alive. You’d probably even be funny when you’re dead. Was that mean? Oh well, YOLO. Oh my god what a pun. Anyways, you’re hysterical. I’ve known this from day one, and each day you get funnier. There’s seldom moments when I’m not laughing with you. It’s the simplest things too. From your hilarious typos, to priceless experiences, everything is just so funny. You’re a happy go lucky guy, you just make everything into a joke and I love that about you. Nothing has to be serious, everything can be made into a joke with you. If I’m stressed up and up tight, I know I can go to you and you’ll say something that will help me just calm down. I mean if you make a stranger laugh, they have to love you because you have that instant charm where you could say anything, and they’ll love you. Happened to me, true story. If anyone doesn’t love you after words have come out of your mouth, they need serious medical help. Your strength makes me love you. I don’t really know how, but it does. I just guess that, you go through so much, but still manage to smile and love people, that amazes me, and I love that about you. What else is there to love.. hmm. Your love for pizza makes me love you. Your love for Beyonce, your love for Glen Justin, Andrea, and Lucy make me love you. Your love for mountain makes me love you. I love how perfect you are. You don’t believe me, but as I always say, you’re the definition of perfection. Remember when I said this? Everything you say is perfect, everything you do is perfect. Just, everything. To keep this nice and smooth, anything you’re into, that you love, or you have respect for, makes me love you. I don’t even think I’m making sense at this point. When do I ever make sense. But Jason, basically, it’s impossible not to love you, it really is. I could never not love you, it’s just never gonna happen. I’ll love you forever and ever, because there’s just that much to love about you. I love everything about you. I love how your favorite color changes everyday. I love how you hate the world every morning with me. I love how you never give up on anyone. I love how you had nail polish in your room. I love how you blamed everything on me. I love how you nuked me and locked me in your closet. I love how Miranda Cosgrove is awkward. But most of all, I love how you love me.
In the past year, you’ve become so dear to me. You’ve become everything I’ll ever need. You’ve become well, my world. A day without you, is just no good. Any minute where I’m not talking to you, is a minute wasted. Any smile, laugh, joke, or embarrassment shared with another, just isn’t as special. When I smile because of you, it’s a genuine smile. It’s not a little smirk, it’s more of a ear to ear all teeth showing smile; Rather scary, but it’s just what happens with you. When I laugh because of you, it’s a laugh out loud slap on knee clap hands like a seal and cry laugh. When I joke with you, it’s an insult with love joke. When something embarrassing happens with you, it’s something that becomes a great memory. I bet, if I asked you if you knew what you meant to me, you would not have a clue. Sure, maybe a small idea, but only because of the little posts, the cute texts, the jokes and more. But nothing I will ever do, could measure up to my love for you, my respect for you, my need for you. I love you more than anything in the world. I don’t lie, and although I’m a jokester, I’m not joking with you. There are many things I love, but then there’s you. I love you, adore you, admire you, cherish you, think the world of you, hold you dear to me, treasure you. Basically anything that means love dearly, that’s what it is. I bet there’s a million different words and phrases I could use, I could go on for days. But the simplest and easiest one to say is, I love you.
Time to get serious though. I’m going to be straight forward and brutal. I’d be long gone. I would’ve been in the ground months ago. Want to know why I’m still here? You. All you. In every single way shape and form, it’s because of you. You stopped me from cutting. And every time I have an urge, you’re the one to stop me. All i have to do is think of what you’ll do if I make a mistake, and it scares me right out of doing it. On every single time where I’ve wanted to take my life, you save me. You save me, every single day honestly. Not a few days a week, every single day. When I’m sad? I go to you. When I’m mad? I go to you. When I’m on the edge? I go to you. I sort of guess that song turn to you applies to you, only some parts though. Ahaha. I still turn to you. When I’m lost and I’m tired, your love takes me higher. The same goes for you. But anyways, you saved me Jason. And I will never, in my lifetime be able to show you how grateful I am. You’ve changed me. When we met each other, I was an insecure person, completely lost and just, confused. I was struggling with alot, all by my self. I had absolutely no one. But then I met you. You were the first person to ever call me beautiful. I didn’t believe you at first. Now what do I do? I can look and tell myself that I am beautiful. I could’ve never believed it if it wasn’t for you. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, sort of seems small. But you know how bad I put myself down. Constantly. You also know how sensitive I am, but you’ve helped me understand that I am beautiful and not to put myself down. You were there when I started cutting. Hell, I was talking to you the night that I did it. And I remember you were so mad at yourself because you didn’t stop me. But look Jason, you have stopped me. You’ve stopped me from an addicted that would’ve ended up in me not being here anymore. Do you even realize that? I’m so grateful for you. And if my family knew, and my friends knew, they’d be grateful too. You know, Briana thanks you a lot. She knows what you mean to me, she knows what you do for me. She says she’s grateful for you, because she knows that you save me. You know, that day when I went to my therapist for the first time. Man, I was scared shit less. I couldn’t even breathe. But she asked me what made me stop cutting. And I said, well, I made a promise with my best friend. My mom thought it was Briana, but I later explained everything. Want to know what she said? She was grateful too, you saved her daughter. So thank you Jason. Thank you for saving me. For keeping me here. For keeping me safe, and okay. For keeping me happy and smiling. Thank you for helping me turn into the person I am today. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be who I am without you. I wouldn’t be here, without you.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. There’s been countless encounters with people who said they would stay, but are no where to be found today. There’s been many people who say they love me, but they lied. There’s been many people, but they’re not you. You are the best thing in my life. You’ve been the best thing in my life for a year now, and you always will be. You’re my favorite person, my favorite hello, my favorite person to laugh with, to talk to. You’re my favorite person to make memories with, and inside jokes with. You’re my favorite person to tell about my day, to share my feelings. You’re my favorite person to rant to, to let everything go with. You’re my favorite. I hate saying goodbye to you. Goodbyes with you, even if it’s just for 5 minutes, they hurt. Because saying goodbye to you is just something I do not like doing. You mean the world to me, heck, you are my world. You are my world, and you’re the best thing in it. You’re my biggest blessing, my angel. You’re my saving grave, everything I need and more. There’s no one who could ever compare to you, replace you, even come close to you. There’s not a day where I don’t want to go without you. There’s not an experience I don’t want to have to not share with you. There’s not a laugh I don’t want to share with you, a smile I don’t want to exchange with you. There’s nothing I don’t want to do without you, just because I simply can’t. There’s that quote, “I could live without you but I’d be miserable at best.” See, no. I can’t live without you. I seriously just can’t. I don’t even want to think about it, because that makes me miserable. I don’t want to live without you, and I know I’m never going to. You’re the best thing Jason, you really are. I love you more than anything in the world, ever.
I could thank you forever. I’m being serious. Thank you for never leaving. Thank you for answering my very first message. Thank you for keeping your promise. Thank you for being my angel. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your life. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for helping me through everything. Thank you for the uncountable memories and laughs. Thank you for being you. I really don’t want to end this. I want this to go on forever. I could talk about you forever, I could talk to you forever. I have so much to say, but so little time. Jason, this past year, has been at least to say, interesting. But you’ve been here through everything, and that’s why it’s worth it. Life isn’t worth it, at all. But with you by my side, I don’t mind it. You’re my absolute best friend. My Dylson McSpeed. My Booski. My buttercup. My otter half. My significant otter. My jasonmccannanon. My Bomez forever. And when I say forever, I mean it. I’m never going to live without you. And I promise you, one day, everything will pay off. We’ll have a real Bomez day, I promise. Everyday until then, I’ll continue loving you. I’ll continue supporting you. I’ll continue harassing you. Even after that, I’ll love you. I’ll love you forever.
Happy one year Jason. Happy Bomez Day. I will love you endlessly.
May 19th, 2011 on a Thursday, at 4:11 PM. That very exact moment, my entire life changed forever. Was I aware that, at the very moment, nothing would ever be the same? Was I aware that, at that very moment, I had met the only person I’d ever truly need? Was I aware of anything? No, not at all. I was more aware of the fact that “Jason McCann” had answered me. How did that happen? Well, I was maybe 1 or 2 months into using my tumblr? I hadn’t really talked to anyone yet. I was sort of just there, with my ask box open, hoping to make people smile. I never really planned on making friends. I didn’t even know making friends on tumblr was possible to be honest with you. I didn’t think having a friendship over a silly little website would last. So I was just creeping on a bunch of anon pages, clicking on random names that I saw. At this time in my life, I was going through my hard core Bieber phase. Like, everything in my life at that time was Justin Bieber. Man, it was bad. So, I mostly stalked Justin Bieber anons, but I saw one name that wasn’t a Justin Bieber anon, but yet it was still him. It was “jasonmccannanon”, that stood out to me. I clicked on his blog, and saw that he was on, being extremely flirtatious, too flirtatious for his own good. But, I went along and just scrolled through a few pages. He seemed like a real sweetheart, definitely a charmer. I found myself smiling at his replies to other people, I hadn’t even gone into his ask yet. I finally just worked up the courage and messaged him something he probably should have answered me with. I saw him use one term alot, also with many, many winky faces. He used the word, “shawty” alot. So I thought well, if he says it should I? So, I did. My first message to him was “Hey Shawty”. Now honestly, the word shawty just, really annoys me. It makes me want to punch everyone in the face. But hey, I used it anyways. Jason was an injured Canadian fellow. He made a post, this one to be exact. I remember saying something like, I’ll keep you company on the bench. Winky face and all I believe. He ended up going to practice and I can’t remember if we talked that night but I do remember waking up the next morning and just logging right on so I could talk to him. I was still in school, and so was he, so I would also come home every single day and run to my computer so I could talk to him. We actually had a time difference at one point. It was just an hour, but I always remember being so cautious to make sure he wasn’t staying up too late and he would do the same. Since the very beginning we’ve just cared about each other. And not a oh you’re my friend I have to care about you. More of a genuine kind of care. And as the months went on, we figured out that it was not only a genuine type of care, but it was a I can’t live without you type of care.
Every day, I just wanted to talk to Jason. Everything was Jason, all the time. We would talk a much as we possibly could, about anything and everything. One night, everything changed. Since ask limit came around, and he hadn’t created his aim yet, we emailed each other. We just decided to tell our life stories to each other, like no big deal. I hadn’t though anything of it at the time, but I later realized by opening up to him, it brought our friendship to a whole new level. We just emailed each other for hours, about everything we could think of. It started from when we were born to the very second it was. It was amazing, because this day I learned things I’ve never really known about. I learned his story, his life, his experiences. I learned about his family, his friends, his hometown and everything. Jason opening up to me, was just an experience in itself. I realized how amazing he really was. How strong he really was. I knew he was all those things before, but all my respect just skyrocketed through the roof. I just really knew that this guy was special, someone who I had to keep around. Someone who wouldn’t come in my life again, so I had to keep him close. And that’s exactly what I did. We’d talk every single day. Every possible second we could. We’d hack each other, making each other look like complete idiots. We’d spam each other endlessly, making ourselves look like complete idiots. Nothing was ever a struggle with Jason. There was never any awkward conversations, there was never wondering what to say next. Everything just happened so smoothly and it’s like it was meant to happen.
Through out the whole summer, it was just Jason. Like, nothing else mattered. Not that anything else matters right now but, you catch my drift. I watched his blog for him, hacked him almost every day, talked on aim until like four in the morning every morning. I’d wake up, talk to Dylan, fall asleep for maybe two or three hours, then talk to Dylan. We were literally inseparable. Still are, actually. I’m telling you, the only time we didn’t talk was when we were peeing or sleeping. That’s it. Now that I think about it, I never really realized how close we were. I think back on everything and it’s like, we’ve been through so much. We’ve gone through everything possible but here we are stronger than ever. I sort of guess that’s why we’re here right now. A whole year later. Bomez, forever. And the best part? This is just the very beginning.